It's Green!

Yesterday, I had a hard time sleeping and as I was driving to school, the roads were slick and the snow was dry, powdery, and teeny, tiny shards of snow at 6:59am. As I pulled into the parking lot, I realized that my car still had its full-sized spare-tire on it (I thought John had switched it out when he'd registered the car). So, after school, Max and I went over to Discount Tire to had them rotate the tires.

Imagine my surprise when he told me that the tire I wanted them to fix had been purchased in 2003! WOW! That's an OLD tire! So, we bought a new one... but there was another bald tire that had been bought in 2004, so we bought a set. Talk about bargain me. I like to get the most out of a set of tires. Not only that, but I got MILEAGE back on them! I hadn't driven all the miles on them I'd been alloted. Wow. So, while Max and I waited (and I worried that there were 3 Discount Tire employees and 2 of us -- and I hoped they wouldn't go out of business), they rotated our tires, and Max and I touched the "wheels." They were pokey. Max was astounded and wandered around pretending/posing to be surprised.

Now, you should know, Max only "knows" one color. In Max's world, everything is green. It's not because he knows the color green. He has no idea what color green is. He loves to say the word green. Everything is green. Everything we looked at was green. For a half an hour, we wandered around, and we discussed tires. We discussed the BLACK tires. We discussed that they smelled of RUB-ber. BLACK. Rubber. What color are tiress, Max? Green? What do tires smell like, Max? Green. SIGH.

By the time we got home, I had given up. When his dad asked him what we had done, he said, "We looked a WHEELS.
I thought, "Hey! We did!"
His dad asked him, "How was it?"
He said, "They were BLACK."
I thought, "Yeah! They WERE!"
His dad said, "Wow! That's great!"
I said, "What did they smell like?"
Max said, "Rubber!"
I said, "What do you want to do next?"
He said, "Watch Chewbacca!"
I said, "OK! What color is he?"
He said, "Green."

Adventures at Pack Meeting

Tonight's Adventures in Motherhood took place at Pack Meeting, which was full of adventure because Jack earned his last red bead (and belt loops and his Bear patch!) He also made a fantastic dinosaur... which got smashed by another boy during a hugely exciting cheer.

So... we got a before the cheer picture as he was getting his awards:

And an after the event photo in bits and pieces...
And then some photos so you can get the true flavor of the event

Silly Xandri.
Asa walking like a penguin

Max complaining that we were leaving without his dad (who still was at scouts).

Xandri's Birthday

Xandri will turn seven on Saturday. It seems virtually impossible to believe that she'll be seven...  As Jean Val-Jean's song says, "How soon they fly/on and on. And I am old!" And so is she.

Her birthday invitations are so very chic (and very adult looking). Purpley-blue (and they sort of have X's on them in the foil--if you squint). She's having a party with seven friends, where they come and watch a movie, make a bracelet, have cake, and then go home. It will be like her friend Maddy's Christmas party (but they made gingerbread houses).

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. My students are preparing for the biggest state test of the year which happens next week. It's a high stakes test because if they don't pass it, they get a diploma that says they are incompetent. We have another test at the end of the year that also measures annual yearly progress, too. While they are both bubble tests, only this one next week is required for graduation. They've been preparing for it for 7 years. They do get five chances to pass it (and it is only on an eighth grade competency level).

Well, it's almost time to go to school. It snowed last night. The roads are covered, "These woods are lovely dark and deep/and I have promises to keep/and miles to go before I sleep" So I must be off. It's Tuesday, so I'll be having adventures in mothering tonight while John is off to scouts. More on that later. :o)

Time Does Not Bring Relief

As the week swings to a close a work, I've been battling a migraine all along. I'm now entering into day 6... and a colleague and I were discussing poetry yesterday at work. We were also discussing how we are dealing with cut-backs, the upcoming Basic Skills Test, her retirement, student teaching, and a variety of changes that we've seen. One of the things we did experience together was the death of my brother and the suicide of her son within the same year. Her student teacher's mother is dying of terminal cancer. Death, it seems, while universal, and unifying, brings me to my knees. My colleague has better perspective.

In our department, we've used the PoetryOutLoud.org website. She shared with me this poem, by Edna St.Vincent Millay today. It takes my breath away, as so much poetry does, because it encapsulates exactly the way I feel about Dave's death. In so many ways, because I know I am never, ever going to get over it. Dave is my first child, the child I try to teach, save, reach every time I come to work. The child I want to say no to drugs. The young kid in the obituaries every time I open them up. He's always going to be twenty-four for me. Frozen, there in time. To find that someone else had this same experience, this same feeling, this same knot in their core was actually liberating for me. That she had written it so well was beautiful, too. Four years.

TIME DOES NOT BRING RELIEF: YOU ALL HAVE LIED

POEM VIEWS: 11506



Born in Rockland, Maine, Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892-1950) as a teenager entered a national poetry contest sponsored by The
. . . MORE »

BY EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied

Who told me time would ease me of my pain!

I miss him in the weeping of the rain;

I want him at the shrinking of the tide;

The old snows melt from every mountain-side,

And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;

But last year’s bitter loving must remain

Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.

There are a hundred places where I fear

To go,—so with his memory they brim.

And entering with relief some quiet place

Where never fell his foot or shone his face

I say, “There is no memory of him here!”

And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

Too Bluuuue

When we bought our new house, I knew one of the things I didn't like about our house was the color of the paint in my bedroom. It was an olive green, and I don't love the color green. As the year has gone on, I have done a lot of thinking about the color, and I had decided to paint the room. I knew I should paint the room gray, but somehow, I thought it would be OK if I painted it a very light blue. Boy, was I wrong.

Over Christmas break, John helped me pick a very light blue from the Pittsburg paint book, and we hired our favorite handyman Bryan to paint. Since there isn't anything Bryan can't do, he started straight away, and painted the ceilings to match the existing paint color the off-white color of the rest of the house (getting rid of the olive-drab color that was actually quite dark). He knocked out the whole of the bedroom in 2 days. It shocked John and I how dark the bedroom was. What shocked us even more was how "blue-blue-blue" the paint was I had chosen.

Bryan called the blue "nursery" blue. He said that I didn't pay him to like the color (which was his way of saying he didn't like the color, which was just short of his way of saying he hated the color.) I don't hate the color, but there's so much of the color. I love the color, as it's Tiffany-box blue, but imagine 500 square feet of it! Imagine an entire room of it! Imagine bathing in it...

When Bryan was cleaning up the bedroom, we had agreed that he would paint the bathroom white, I thought, so when I walked into the bathroom last night at 2am, and flipped the light on, imagine my surprise to find that the new paint (now dry) was... BLUE! ACK! Not a dream. My heart, now beating a bit faster... Check again. Yep: Still blue. Hope Bryan will be back again, with white paint...

End of the Term...

Off with the old, and on with the new... It's the new term at school, and grades are due in the morning. For me, that means I've been grading last-minute redemption assignments from students and fielding phone calls from parents, emails from students, meetings with administrators (and counselors) trying to help kids pass second quarter. That (theoretically) ends tomorrow morning when grades are uploaded. I am giving a handful (one handful) of incompletes, which will have to be changed, but a manageable amount for me and the registrar. One hates to extend that deadline too far, or the natives get restless, and let's face it... there's got to be a deadline somewhere. Most of my students are sophomores, so that deadline is still off in that sunset, a bit, though.

There was a bit of a glitch today, with the new semester, when I couldn't get the grades to print. I had to get John to come get Asa and fetch Max. I worked on getting grades to print for an extra hour, set up the entire new set of grades, and then came home and worked on printing... all to no avail. Finally when I remembered an old issue we had (way back when--maybe four years ago, perhaps even longer... you know you've taught a long time when you start remembering and trying old fixes for issues!) I just started to randomly try old fixes for the printing issue. Low and behold, one of them worked. I could have kissed the printer I was so happy to find a relatively low-tech fix for a troublesome problem.

By then, it was almost 7 pm. I was glad I'd taken the hour after work to sit with the boys and watch the "bishes" on Facebook with Asa and Max. They adore "Fishville" on Facebook. I don't know if it's just because they can watch it, or because it's there, but they enjoy watching the "bishies." Max, especially. He's also interested in the animals on any farm, island, or animal game. He's endlessly fascinated. We toured many an island on "Island Paradise" this evening. He's spot on for "goat," "chicken," "sheep," "peacock," but "turtle" is a bit difficult for him. He also sticks his tongue out and spits for turtle, which is quite a charming thing. I don't quite know why that is the sound for turtle. He's delighted with the sound a goat makes. He wanted me to repeatedly goose the goat. That was his favorite; and pop the bubbles in the "bishes."Asa just wants to make sure I kill the fishes so we can scoop them out. Xandri is endlessly disappointed that she never gets to see a dead fish... To each his own, I suppose. I'm just grateful we don't have to actually *own* all of these animals.

After we'd determined to eat "mom" macaroni-n-cheese (which is *not* macaroni-n-cheese from a box) we ate grilled cheese sandwiches (don't ask me how these things happen) and then the kids had a half an hour to play with the wii, make a huge mess of their bedrooms, half-heartedly clean it up, and then make me cross. After they got in the pajamas, they went to bed, and I can now hear their father saying good night now that he's home from scouts, and my adventure in motherhood is now done! Another Tuesday night survived. Whew!

Baby-No-Name

He has arrived! 

At 2:26 pm, 5 January 2010, weighing 7 pounds 6 ounces, and 19 inches long.

He looks much like his brother Seth.

I wish I had taken a picture of him wearing his hat... so that these pictures could have been a true comparison... :o) Please note that although Asa abd Seth look mighty alike (and do often pass for brothers) Seth and his bambino brother have the same nose, the same chin, and I even managed to capture a shot where they had a similar squint, but of course that was completely accidental.

No name has been chosen for this newest Johnson, so stay tuned. Much debate is going on about what his name SHOULD or should NOT be. Blah, blah. :o) Glad I don't have to do that anymore. Having named my children unpopular names with even more unpopular spellings, I am glad to be out of that business altogether.

As for the rest, here's a couple more pictures from my late night photoshoot. Sorry you missed the new-baby smell. As you are well aware, it's fleeting.

In the final musings of crazy women, we voted that "he" (in the interest of calling him something, we shall call him "buddy" here on out, shall have blue eyes today, looks *exactly* like Seth (whom Seth calls Junior Alan Johnson,) and is the quietest baby ever and is the most perfect baby on the planet. Thanks for listening. We appreciate your cooperation in our madness. 

Buddy will be available for viewing in his own home sometime after noon  on Thursday if you arrive with a  re-heatable meal, fully prepared to do a load of laundry, and some light cleaning.

New Year... Old Year... DANCE BREAK!

With the new year, I have found that people start to focus on dichotomies: new/old, black/whites, studying the contrasts in the darks and lights in the chiaroschiros of our lives happening most often between the highs of the Decembers of our Christmases and the lows of the take-the-trees-down-days of the January doldrums. These in-between days often feel sluggish; they have days of nothing-much-to celebrate; no where to rush. No planned parties. No rules for taking down the decorations. There's no green, red, and white decorating rule. No one to complain if you say "Season's Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" because... It's January, instead of December.

On TV, they're hawking StairMasters, Nutri-System promises their food tastes great, and Alton Brown has a special about how he got looking gaunt (seriously, I thought he was hiding cancer. I honestly thought he was ill instead of fit!) Every prime time show is in re-run; no more Christmas specials... And honestly, January is downright dull. There's a sea of fog, smog, and chill in the valley, and clearance in the stores. They haven't quite cleared out the Christmas stuff, and the Valentine's red-white-and-pink hasn't fluffed up the aisle quite yet. Resolution time.

My friend Mae says it's time for a dance break. I quite agree. Marky-Mark and his funky bunch came sledding on New Year's Day. They took a break, slid down my hill, just took the time to kick it a bit. Jen and Joe took a minute to enjoy the slopes a bit, too. Just a break. Aunt Anna Widerberg and her kids came too, but I didn't get a shot of them. I'd gone home and got a picture of Max, hanging at home with his dad...

Maybe that's all anyone needs: a chance to take a header down a lovely slope on a nice winter day: it was 45 degrees outside (we didn't even NEED coats!)

They say it might rain today... get rid of some of this valley smog, fog, etc. Won't that be lovely?

The Post-it Note Gene...

My father is certain that all of my blog posts go out to Facebook, but here's how my blog works: only seven of you actually read the blog: John, Jack, Ivie, Max, Dad, Joan, Steph, Barbara. Everyone else has to actually click to read, so that means no one else really reads it. It's set to private and it forwards to email and then anyone who's subscribed can read and I update it every day so that the grandparents and the family can read it. I really write it for John and Jack. I keep meaning to have it published, but I haven't done it yet. Originally, I set it up so that it would go to my grandparents in Canada so that they'd get it every day and then they'd know what was going on, and then Jack had such a good time that I started to write it every day just to entertain Jack. Back to the Post-it Notes.

I'd be surprised if you didn't know most of my best posts start in the shower... but they do. While I was in the shower today, I was thinking about what I store on Post-it notes, and other random pieces of paper. When I was growing up, my father was absolutely at odds and ends if he didn't have a pad and a piece of paper (and they always had a drug name from a drug company on them. He had entire cupboards of  pads and pens dedicated to supplies of pens and pads). At my house, they are Post-it name brands, and they are cute. And I write down snip-its of what I want to remember, and then I store it "somewhere." Anything important, I have written somewhere. If it happened, I have it written it down. Then, I have copied it, and stored it. Then I have saved it again on a computer, and on a hard-drive, and then usually on an iPod because I will have killed that computer.

In fact, I've been thinking about the way I keep memories, and the way I keep bits and bobs of things. I never finish off anything completely. I almost never finish anything completely. I leave the last chocolate for later, so I can really enjoy that... and then it goes stale. Last piece of gum, stale. Last bit of perfume? Last bit of lip gloss? Seeing a pattern? A lot of the last something goes bad so that I can get around to it later, and then I never get back to it. I look around me, especially the really wonderful things, and have often thought "I wish I had known that was the Last Time I  Was Going to Do That. I'd Have Really Enjoyed That." and I have decided to try to enjoy things more like the are the Last Time. In fact, that's my New Year's Resolution. I hope that's why you'll be enjoying more pictures on the blog this year.

As I was standing in the shower, I went through the steel trap I keep in my head. Lately, I've been noticing that the steel trap that's the filing cabinet in my head is Really, Really Rusty. It's got some   annoying missing teeth, and some gaps, too. I'm getting more used to that, but I have the assurance that when I want to find a file in the cabinet, like what it was like to vacuum first carpet I ever bought in the first carpet I ever bought in the first house I ever bought for the first time, the memory is there with the smell and the sound of the hum of the vacuum and it's there on top of the  feeling of standing in the enormous house on the enormous mountain and it's compounded with the years and years it takes to get here. The best part about the filing cabinet I keep in the post-it note in my head is that the post-it notes are really big, and they can be endlessly rearranged.

Anyway, that's my New Year's Resolution, to be less of a wet blanket (because I'm really good at setting up activities, and really bad at enjoying them) and trying harder to "Seize the Day" and enjoy them. I'm much better at throttling the days... Working on it.

I Cry the Day I Take the Tree Down... No I Don't!

Hmmm. I don't usually have a hard time writing. I've tried writing this same blog post all night long, and it's New Year's Eve,  so it really IS a long night, one of the longest of the year.

I must say, I am the most nostalgic of my siblings, but we all have butter-soft hearts. We are big 'ole softies when it comes to Christmas, and we love reminiscing about the past. We have soft spots about Christmas, and we love all things Christmas. I think we all listen to the same Christmas music. We have all the same Christmas CD's. We have similar taste in Christmas lights (I think we all use white Christmas lights--not sure about Sarah since it's been a while since I've dropped by to see her tree, in ROCHESTER!) However, I have it on good authority that I'm currently the only one using  "vintage" Christmas ornaments. Schenny-Penny has some that she collected from our childhood on her "Barbie Tree" but they are not currently on display (not since the great "Barbie Tree Massacre").

Growing up, we had real trees, and we set them up the day after Thanksgiving which meant that they were fire-hazards and often came down on Boxing Day except for the famous Christmas day, except for the famous fire of Christmas Day. My John has had the firm rule that the tree stayed up until Epiphany, and we have never decorated the tree before Advent Sunday in our married life... but in our new house the "rules" have changed a bit... and traditions change a bit as children change and needs change. Our lives have changed as my health has made what I do changes, too. This year, I did Christmas in our new house almost exactly as I did nineteen years ago when my parents moved into their house across town... and the nostalgia was thick, especially as my brother Mark moved the grandfather clock into our new house. It was my mothers Christmas gift that year. I hear the bells on Christmas Day, every day. Wild and sweet, their words repeat, and it's rarely, rarely peaceful. Trust me.

We set up several trees all those years ago... we had a tree with crocheted angels, and we had a tree with silk wrapped balls (and years later, we had only 2 or 3 left after a puppy got into them. I think that puppy was partially feline for all the delight shredding Christmas decorations brought. I rescued one  as a souvenir... I also kept the only one I could fine that  mom and I had made from scraps of fabric that we'd pushed into styrofoam balls. It was a craft project that I remember making with my mom. We used pieces of flannel for the first sets. When I took this ball, I couldn't find any of the original flannel balls. I only found this ball (top ball, green dots, snowflakes, snowmen). The original flannel balls we made in the early 1980's when I was 8 or 9 are gone... These were made when I was about 16. The silk balls were on the tree in our living room next to the grand piano. My mom's tree in that room had red and white lights and she had covers that snapped on over the lights.

We always had two Christmas trees. The tree upstairs had multi-color lights on it. It was completely different... The upstairs tree had the kid-decorations and the tree downstairs had red and white decorations. Always. The multicolored tree had the Hallmark decorations, and the decorations with our names, and it was the tree where mom turned off the lights and rocked and rocked and rocked and listened to "Happy Christmas Eve." It was Christmas. We used to lay underneath the tree as kids and look up at the lights under the tree before there were too many presents to lay under the tree anymore... and there were always loads of presents. Mother was terribly creative with presents, too. Sometimes we got reindeer names.

And, I suddenly realize that the reason that this is such a hard blog post to write is because it's not about Christmas decorations at all. It's about hellos and goodbyes. It's about beginnings and endings. It's about stops and starts and the way we ring out the old and start the new. As Sarah McLauchlan sings in her bittersweet "Wintersong" I have read the self-same sad farewells on Facebook to lost loved ones, as well. It's the same, day in, days gone.

It's the Auld Lang Syne:
Sense of joy fills the air
And I daydream and I stare
Up at the tree and I see
Your star up there

And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by



And as the sun rises tomorrow morning, on the new year, I hope love and happiness surround you and yours, and that you'll throw your arms up to the sky and I'll keep this moment by and by.

Don't Visit Without 4-Wheel Drive

Photo before it started to snow.

The lady in the small car tried four times to get up this road. She followed a snow plow up the road, twice.... and then she slid down. The snow plow was blowing sand, and she still slid back down.

Thanks for the indefinite loan of your beater 1996 Suburban, Dad. I'm really, really, really glad we didn't Cash-for-clunkers it; I'm even more glad we repaired it when it died half way to Canada, because if we didn't have it... we couldn't get up the hill to our driveway (She slid down just slightly mid-center our property). The other cars that can't get up the hill? Yep: they are the mini-vans.

The hill is magnificent for sledding. Two bums on sleds for that.

The Hills are Alive...

Okay, the hills aren't really alive... but they are moving. The neighbors hired a rock moving company because "some day" they want to put a pool in. Before the pool, they definitely want a fence (which is a higher priority for them because they have a walk-out basement, and pretty high for us because we can see directly in to their walk-out basement). For their fence to be straight, they need to move our top tier of rocks. One other impediment to their fence is the property line. No property line in our development follows the rocks. The developer placed the rocks willy-nilly, and they are pretty much... wherever he liked.

So, there's a rock mover in our back yard:

They have started to move the rocks here.
Last week they blue staked the front yard (in the snow, which is kinda funny).

Here's the rock mover.
Here's the big deal about the whole thing: the rock is EIGHT FEET too far into our yard. It's supposed to be 8 feet farther north into the neighbor's yard. They will move it back, and we will get 8 feet more into our yard for the price of moving the rock. Now, that is a tremendous bargain, and because the man who is moving the rock wishes to work, he has lowered the price of moving the rock from what he wanted to charge us in the fall. So, all in all, it's a great deal for the neighbors, and for us. Yay! Everyone is happy. We're happy, too, that he'll let us pay him a bit now, and a bit more in 30 days.

In the end, the wall will be eight feet farther back, the wall will be shorter (and smoother), and it will be in the right place. A much better outcome than what is currently there. It has to be engineered, but we don't have to pay for it. The neighbors do. We surrendered the top rock to them to offset some of their cost, and... we got 8 feet out of it in the deal.

How often can you buy 8 feet in your own back yard?

Bire-Truck

Imagine that the kid in this fire truck is Max... because that's who this gift was for. Grandma Max gave this to Max for Christmas, but Asa has had just as much fun ringing the bell and pushing it around with his feet. Neither one of them pedals the thing (although it DOES have pedals).

It's from R.C. Willey, and it has ladders and a bell, but what it's REALLY good for is running into doors. :o) Sometimes, the boys will drag it backwards by the fire hose. (I'm a bit nervous they'll pull the fire hose off). It had to move to the main floor because I was more nervous they'd drive it off the top floor and it would become airborne down the stairs (that seemed like a bit too much fun and real fire engines might have to be called).

It's much, much cuter in real life than even in pictures. They sit in it almost all of the time. It gets garaged in the pantry (which is pretty cute). When not garaged there, it can be garaged in the mud room. It's a great car for a 2 year old boy. We'll see how much fun it is outside in the spring. I hope they don't actually ride it down our hill... It may have to be carefully taken down to the park and ridden in circles around the water tank so they don't coast it down into traffic (considering there's our hill and then the big, big hill). They will have so much fun with this truck. It's "rated" up to 7 years old. Lots of fun to be had for 2 little boys, and several little boys yet to come in the Phippen & Preston family.

What He Never Complains About...

I adore almost everything about my new house... except the counter space in my kitchen. Our kitchen is huge... but the counter where they put the sink is teeny-tiny. If we have dinner, and the dishes are not immediately done (and I mean between cooking dinner and eating dinner), there isn't enough space to clean up.

If we have breakfast, there isn't enough room to do the dishes. It's kinda strange for a house this large. There isn't enough room for a gourmand such as John to really spread out and cook. There's an enormous counter under the cabinets, but who cooks there? It's a true conundrum.

John never complains that this is the picture that most often meets him as he's finishing up an amazing meal (and they are ALL amazing):

And there's the space dedicated to cooking. Odd little space, isn't it? Lots of oven space. Lots of stove space... where's the stirring space? Where's the counter space? Where's the space for two cooks? Hmmm. Good thing only John knows how to cook, eh? Yeah, this is after breakfast.

You know what the real problem is? It's not the space that's the problem. It's that the lady that's supposed to do the dishes... is me. Hahahaha. I'm off blogging instead of doing the dishes. I'll get right on that. Just as soon as I finish writing.

Those Winter Sundays

I teach a poem called "Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden about fatherhood that ends "What did I know, what did I know of love's austere and lonely offices?"
I always teach it at the end of the year, during baseball season, and we watch Field of Dreams and read "Once More to the Lake" by E.B. White, and when we get to the scene Ray's father asks him "Is this heaven?" and he replies, "No, it's Iowa..." and his father replies, "I could have sworn it was heaven" and he says, "Is there a heaven?" and John replies, "Oh, yeah." I weep like a baby (because it's a cornfield because I think of my dad, and of my farmer grandfather, etc).

What do I know about love, and love's lonely offices? I learned an awfully lot this year, this Christmas. You see, I can't buy my dad a Christmas present. I can buy him "stuff." I try every year to get him "stuff." And some years, I try to "do stuff" for him that he wouldn't do for himself. In fact, my family is big into doing stuff for other people. We do crazy stuff for each other, like finishing basements over and over again. We hang out at each other's houses; we move and and help move and move some more (like pioneer children some years).

Still, my father can surprise me. Case in point. One night, before Christmas, he called me up. He said he needed to get something at Costco that was too big for him to pick up. I was certain we were going to pick up a gift for my mother. No. Instead, he was there to make sure my cute children were being fed. He knew my husband has been paid sporadically, and he wanted to make sure we had the basics, and he filled up a cart and sent me on my way, because he's like that. Just a quiet, breathless whirlwind tour through Costco.

I was so caught off guard I didn't even hug him before I drove away. The poem says:
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices? 

On Christmas morning, as he and my mother drove away from my house, I understood a little bit more about Christmas. There's definitely much, much more joy in the giving, and it takes a lot of time to gain parenthood perspective. The older I get, the more I realize that the picture is more incomplete. The more I know I see through the glass darkly. My father quoted "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" and there are miles to go. I can't wait to travel them to see what else there is to see along the journey.

My Grown-Up Christmas Wish

I'm behind in blogging again. Today you'll get several entries to catch up. Before I was a grown-up, I had NO idea why my mom always wanted something we couldn't buy her. I always wanted something quick and painless I could buy her easily at a store, I didn't want something I had to spend endless hours creating or doing that was, honestly, hours upon hours of work.

Now that I'm a mom, I understand why my mom wants a gift like that. It's because I can buy myself my own gift like that. I understand that what  my mom wanted was "one day where none of you fight" or "one day of peace and quiet" or "one day where no one messes anything up" (although, I also understand that those days come when we all move out of the house and live away from home, sometimes very, very far away from home, or as she said when David died, all she wished was one day where there was something more to wash or one more shoe to pick up.) As Trace Adkins said, "You're gonna miss this."

Being married to a Phippen means that I get to ask for the same thing multiple years in a row and I get to be delighted when I receive it many times. Here's the best Phippen gift ever. If you have never been a Phippen, you won't understand. It's OK. It's MY Christmas, and you can not understand from afar.

This is an empty garage with my car inside of it. It's at my house. It's a pretty fine Christmas gift. This same garage holds two cars.

John and Jack emptied the garage for me, and Jack was even more pleased that I had "Facebooked" his Christmas present service project. He told his dad that it must be pretty special if I had told people on Facebook that he had helped. I guess it's really only a gift if you get credit on Facebook. Take note: service in secret must not count.

The Christmas Calendar

I borrowed my best friend's Cricut to cut ANOTHER calendar because I lost the calendar that replaced the calendar from the year before... are you getting the picture? Now it's December the 15th. As I walked down the hallway today at work, I realized: I am not going to get that calendar made. If I didn't make it at Thanksgiving, it is NOT going to happen. SIGH.

Christmas is passing me by this year. It always goes too quickly, but this year quicker than before. I can't believe that it's a week until we're out for the break, and 10 days until Christmas Day. Thanks heavens we have until Epiphany... but then... ACK!

The time passes too quickly. And I need a nap.

I am Batman.

Max likes anything his brothers like, so when Asa fell in love with Batman, Max did, too. Max can correctly identify Batman, Spiderman, The Mouse, Manny, Boots! (Dora), and Star Wars. He can also identify "Christmas" (Santa, Xandri called him "Ho-Ho.")

Today, Max found a snowflake Asa had made at school, and he held it up to his head and said, "Look, Mama! I'm Batman!" Then, he shoved his "baaa" in his mouth, and wandered around with the snowflake on his head. I guess he's Christmas Batman. I hope Santa knows what to bring him. I'm thinking he should have asked for a Batmobile.

The Piano Recital

Jack, Xandri and Asa have been taking piano lessons from Mishalae Ward since October. On Friday night, they had a recital with the rest of the students, and it went well. Asa played first, and his rendition of "Deck the Halls" was very good. He started on the wrong note, but he quickly noticed, found middle C, and played it perfectly. That's an excellent job for only 2 months of lessons.

Here he is sitting at the piano:

Max wanted desperately to play, too. However, we spent most of the time in the hall trying to get him to be quiet.

Xandri played "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." She played it perfectly, and she had great hair. Both very important things.

Jackson played two songs, "Good King Wenceslaus" and "Jingle Bells." He also learned "O, Come All Ye Faithful."

They did well. I guess it's money and time well spent... If you want to hear them play, just show them a piano. They're more than willing to pound you out a tune at any time.

Gingerbread House Pictures

On Monday night we made a gingerbread house and read Jan Brett's Gingerbread Baby. A good time was had by all.