The Incredible Time-Waster...

Here is the new 2008 edition of getting to know your family and friends.Here is what you are supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. Some of you may get this several times; that means you have lots of friends. The easiest way to do it is to hit "forward" so you can change the answers or copy and paste. Have fun and be truthful!
 

1. What is your occupation right now?   English Teacher

2. What color are your socks right now?  I'm wearing white crew socks with pink toes and heels!

3. What are you listening to right now? Students discussing the validity of John McLaughlin as an artist.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?  Peanut Butter granola bar 

5. Can you drive a stick shift? My first car was an old Volkswagon  Beetle. DUH.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone.  My Aunt Joan?

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?  Love Starr

 8. How old are you today?  36

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?  Michael Phelps

 10. What is your favorite drink?  Strawberry Energy Crystal Light

  11. Have you ever dyed your hair?  Hahahahahaha.

 12. Favorite food?  Restaurant?

 13. What is the last movie you watched?  Where? How is one defining movie?

 14. Favorite day of the year?  Spring-forward Daylight Savings Sunday

15. How do you vent anger?  I get irrationally angry, rant and rave, and stomp around. Then I take a Xanax.

 16.     What was your favorite toy as a child?  Lego

17. What is your favorite season?  Spring

  18. Cherries or Blueberries?  Strawberries. Pass on the rest, please.
 
 19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?  Meh.
 
 20. Who is the most likely to respond?  Jen

 21. Who is least likely to respond?  John

 22. Living arrangements?  6 people crowded into a very small, poorly cleaned home. HEY! We're NOT in foreclosure, so I guess it's all good.

  23. When was the last time you cried?   Last night when I banged my head on a wooden box and then tripped and wrenched my knee and twisted my ankle.

 24. What is on the floor of your closet?  Shoes. And Christmas presents, I think.

 25.  What did you do last night?  I ran around like chicken with my head cut off at Pack Meeting
 
 26.  What are you most afraid of?  Outliving my children.

 27. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburger?  Cheese, with pickles and mayonnaise. I WOULD like bacon on that. Thanks for asking.

 28. Favorite dog breed?  Someone else's.

 29. Favorite day of the week?  Saturday

 30. What states have you lived in?  Alberta. Google it. It's a province.

 31. Diamonds or pearls?  I like variety--anything sparkly works for me. I own both diamonds and pearls. I don't wear them together, however.

 32. What is your favorite flower?  Peonies. And roses. And snapdragons.

Jackson's Surgery...

Yesterday, Dr. Kip Robbins did a choleastomy on his L ear. Jack had a congenital tumor that had been growing since he was conceived. It measured 5.5mm. We had been told to expect that Jack would need to have complete reconstructive surgery in the spring to restore part of his hearing, with a potential of having a bone-anchored-hearing-aid (on his exterior skull). There was a possibility that Jackson's exterior ear would need to be opened if the tumor had gone into the attic of his ear (which could potentially push itself into Jack's brain).

Yesterday, the surgery was entirely successful, and the outcome was beyond our wildest expectations. Dr. Robbins discovered that while the tiniest bone was missing, only half of the middle-sized bone was gone, and the large bone was fully intact. He rebuilt Jackson's hearing with a prosthetic device for the tiny bone, and he added a bit to the middle bone. It is anticipated that Jack will hear again, probably for the first time in 2 years, within a very short time. His ear needs to heal (they lifted up his eardrum), and the prosthetic needs to grow into place, but it should give him some hearing (even if it's not as great as "natural" hearing may be.  

Even better, a friend from work (Allison Wakefield--we had babies at the same time, 4 times!) mother-in-law was Jack's post-op nurse. It's a small, small world when you know good people. Aunt Shirley & Uncle Duane's oldest daughter Barbara Craighead was RUNNING post-op, so that was fun. John commented on how much she and my Aunt Kim look alike. I laughed. She is both my 2nd cousin and my 3rd cousin!

I'll post more picutres later.

Picture Day!

Here's  my picture on the first day of school. Mama rolled my hair in pin-curls, and we scrinched and scrunched it into all my natural curls. I love having long curly hair. I was saving my hair for "Locks of Love."

While I stayed at Grandma Max's, grandma cut my hair. It's shorter now, and not as curly. For picture day today, Mama rolled my hair in pink sponge curlers. We used mousse; we used lots and lots of hairspray. We didn't use any glitter, though.

It isn't very curly anymore, and it didn't stay curly all day. Mama will have to try something else to make it curly. If she uses a curling iron, my hair goes very straight.

Spa Vacations are the Best!

Today began our glorious holiday. I have not remembered what it is to travel without children and to be self-indulgent and really go on break. We are staying at this gorgous inn, way, way off the beaten track called the Red Rooster Inn. http://red-rooster-inn.com/welcome2.htm

We have the best room in the inn, and it has a gorgeous view and the sun rises over the Sopas Valley and is stunning.  We're staying in the Lavender Room (and it really DOES smell like lavender, with home-made lavender, and wake-em-up-mint soap and fresh lavender in the bathroom). Here's some pix of the room:

This picture is of the view out of our bedroom windows:

We also bought the "spa package" which included a massage at the Splendor Mountain Day Spa (a local's favorite). Tomorrow, we'll be visiting the Yampa's Vapor Caves and the renown Glenwood Springs Pool. We are also considering visiting a castle...

We ate at a "local's choice" restaurant called "The River" and it was great. John had citrus crusted halibut, and I had a warm spinach/walnut salad with bacon, feta cheese, and a specialty basalmic vinaigrette. Dessert was amazing. John had the smoothest raspberry sorbet, and I had a bourbon-sweetened pecan pie. It was the best pecan pie I've ever had.

We're having a great time, and I hope those who are with my children know how much we appreciate them!

A Day of Adventure

Today started out with an adventure. Jack got to go have a CT scan... Mama got up, after much harassing by Dad, and then Dad took Jack to UVRMC and Mama went back to bed. Jack was thrilled that Dad got to be with him when he had his CT scan, which was 2 scans, one of around his head about his ears, and the other of just his L ear. Jack was a bit nervous, and a bit worried. However, he loved the gizmo (what is it about Phippen men and gadgets?) He loved watching the CT machine spin around him. 

After Dad and Jack got home, they woke Mama back up by throwing Max at her. Dad got Xandri and Asa out of bed, and we all started to get ready to go. Daddy took everyone, to start with. He left Xandri and Max at Jackie & April's. Then, he, Jack and Asa and met Aunt Kim (Rasmussen) at IKEA. Then he met Aunt Jen at McDonalds in Lehi. Then, we joined up and drove Max and Xandri's gear and met Grandma Max at her office at Coldwell Banker. Then we were on our way. It was 11:48, just short of noon.

We got to Moab at 3:45pm and met with our friend Sherry and walked around her new property in Moab (we even saw "schmooder," which is a "supercalifragilistic word for "nasty stuff.) We talked about her new house, visited her old house, and saw the cutest newborn Dachshund puppies (they were only 2 days old!!) We left Moab after getting take-out from the Moab Diner.

We have finally arrived at the Red Rooster Inn up a lovely canyon just past Glenwood Springs. Tomorrow begins the Spa Retreat. I'll take some pictures and post those, too.

Jackson's Hearing

Today Jackson visited the ENT. They have determined there is a growth behind his eardrum that is benign (Cholesteatoma:http://www.entkent.com/cholesteatoma.html), and it's probably congenital (it's been there since birth and has grown to the point where it no longer allows for sound conduction.) He will have a CT scan tomorrow (Thursday, 10/16) early in the morning. They are looking at how large the growth is, how far in they will have to go, and how much damage it might have done to the bones in his ears. 

Jack will have surgery (cholesteatomy) next Thursday, 10/23 at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center.

He will also probably have to have reconstructive surgery on the bones in his ear later in the year based on the damage the growth has caused. The growth is benign (non-cancerous), but it's acidic and can damage the delicate bones in the ear. If his bones need to be reconstructed, he won't have hearing until then, but his hearing should be restored at that point.

We'll know more as we go along, but this is our current update!

Where Your Heart Is

Luke 12:13-15

Someone in the crowd said to him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me."

Jesus replied, "Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?"  Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

We readily agree that our lives should not be about our possessions.  But Jesus warns us to watch out and be on guard.  How does living with a short-life mindset help you be on guard against greed? As you’ve thought through this over the last two weeks, are there possessions that you’ve recognized as overly important?

I have very few objects that I consider "irreplaceable." However, since my Aunt Kim's house burned down, I have often wondered: what would I want to save? I've tried to keep my pictures backed up in more than one spot. I don't think I have any pictures that I couldn't replace. So even my scrapbooks are replaceable. I could replace all of my knick-nacks... except the casts I had done of my children's hands. I never did get one done of Max's hands because every time I called to schedule it, I got an answering machine! That is kinda sad. I do have foot prints of his feet, and that's the first time I got newborn foot prints. However, are they irreplaceable?

I have the chairs from Brenda that I love... but I haven't started petit-pointing them, so they are not yet irreplaceable.

I do have some very special antiques (the hutch from my parents, my mother's sewing machine cabinet, Grandma Meek's mirror, crystal from Grandma Herrick's house), but they wouldn't be worth running into a burning house for.

I have some paintings that are valuable, but also not irreplaceable. I guess I'm doing OK on not placing items above people. I did cry the day that Asa smashed the crystal bowl from Grandma Lizzie's house. I also got angry with Xandri for breaking the heads off my Willow Tree figurines (for the second time), but I don't think I was obsessively or punishingly angry. I guess I'm doing OK at not valuing items.

I certainly am never planning to retire! I am not counting on a retirement; I know that I'll have to work as long as I can to keep health insurance. I'm just counting on God to keep me here. I've had to let my "issues" go to God, because I can't do anything more about them. I can't bear the stress sometimes of being sick all the time, always being on-guard about what I eat, what medicines I take, etc. I just have to let it go and trust that I will have faith that God will keep me here as long as He needs me here.

Looking Toward Economic Future...

Pastor Rich sent us this

Luke 12:16-21

And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.'

 "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods.  And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." '

 "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?'

 "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."

 

There is wisdom in planning ahead, in being responsible with all that God has entrusted to us.  The issue is focus.  Think for a minute:  do you trust in your retirement plan, your investments?  Or do you trust God? We all, I think, immediately say, “I trust GOD!!!”  But the events of the past few weeks ought to reveal where our trust really lies...

I have been listening, raptly, to the rise and fall of the Dow. I remember panicking when my 401k was cut in half in 2004, and it had only recently recovered what I lost then. It will be the same with this crash. Interestingly, more and more, as I am uninsurable, I have come to the conclusion that I shall never stop teaching unless I can not work any longer. If I am incapacitated in some way, then I'll quit, but I'll go out fighting.

I've had to "let it go to God." It's all I can do at this point.

Ira Allan

John was in Mapleton yesterday surveying his projects, and he saw this sign. He took the picture, JUST FOR ME, and brought it home. We were delighted to see that Grandpa Ira was also honored with a sportspark in Mapleton---AND, notice the maple leaves! It's Mapleton, thus the maple leaves. Funny, though!

Go, Grandpa!!

Radioactive Woman

10 days ago, I had a thallium stress test on my heart. It turns out that my heart should be good for at least 15 more years: my valves and heart look great. This is great news for me. Since then, my family has been on a roller coaster as all of the medicines, etc. I've been on have been adjusted.

I takes something like this to remind me how much my health affects my family. My house is a wreck (and not because my husband isn't helping, but because he has had to be both of us). My "simple" cold became something very major. My blood sugar is completely out-of-whack. Being sick isn't just about ME; it affects my entire family. It reminds me of the old saying, "When mama's sick, ain't nobody happy!" and that's really true around here.

As a quick update: despite the housing market, the stock market, and the lack of real estate sales, my husband still has a job that he loves! He is also cleaning out the trash in our back yard. We've determined to get our house engineered, and over the winter get the house ready to rebuild. We'll start the major work in the spring. Hopefully by then, we'll know what the stock market is going to do...

Jack has a new Primary teacher who says he's the best of all her students! And, he's back to shouting at his siblings. It turns out that being the oldest when mom is sick is stressful on the oldest child, too. He is doing well in school. He's a good reader; he's working on his math and loves his teacher.

Xandri continues to terrorize her siblings; she thinks Max should be held all the time, and Max feels like she is his personal strait-jacket. Xandri is a dress-up queen, and she loves styling her hair! Who knew THAT day would come?? She loves headbands and bows, and she'll let me do side-pony tails and poofs. She's the glitter, nail polish, etc. queen. I got a girly, girl, and it makes me deleriously happy. I know that the day she starts stealing (and ruining) my shoes, I'll have gotten my comuppance from what I did to my mother's shoes.

Asa's speech is so clear I am beginning to believe he's learning English at pre-school. He's a motorcycle fantic. He loves Cars (the movie), trucks, and all things with engines. He uses Tinker Toys... to make motorcycles. He, Jack and Max play cars virtually all the time.

Max is sad that we have finished nursing. I am too! It's sad when the baby isn't a baby anymore. He's so big! He likes to pus his cars around (he makes a "th" sound as he does so). He rearranges shoes, and drives them around like they are cars. He loves pulling daddy's socks out of the sock drawer, and he's really starting to talk. He says: "mama," "dad," "no," "mine," (in some variation--it's not quite clear yet), "Hi," "this," and "Asa" (in some form) and "Jack" (in some form). He also knows the meanings of all sorts of words. "No" from Mama makes him laugh. "No" from Dad makes him cry. He also cries when you say, "Let's go to bed." He's great at "snuggle" and "hugs" and he understands "kisses" and sticks out his tounge appropriately. You gotta be careful with him. He's into "french" kissing. You get slobbered by him, but at least you know you're loved.

That's the update!

Day 10: Choose Ye This Day

James 4:13-15

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.”

What plans are you making that ignore God and His work in your life? 

I hope I live my life that I don't ignore Him and His work, but I think there are times I go through the motions of living: morning prayer, repetitive prayers done quickly over meals, not planning Family Home Evening properly, and not making enough opportunities to share my inner faith with my children. I think my problem is my failure to plan for Him and see His work.

Like the Army of Helaman, I grew up in a house where I knew my mom had a testimony. My mom read her scriptures every day, had the Ensign, wrote in her journal, and often shared her testimony of her prayers for us, over us, and for the world at large. I knew my mom believed, and it made it possible to believe upon her words.

We had times on Sunday where we had Book of Mormon stories on tape, and they were turn the page books... We had to listen to stories as a kid, and I loathed it. However, my mom invested lots of time and effort to teach us music and scripture that would increase our testimonies and help us find God's Hand in all things. We would listen to "inspiring" stories as we drove in the car, and we sang as mom would prepare her Sunday lessons for Primary.

Are there any shifts in attitude you need to make in order to acknowledge God and His plans?

I think I need to take more time to show my children how I believe in a Heavenly Father who loves us. I do most of my studying in private, and I need to be more public in my study of the scriptures, the reading of the words of the prophet, and in my belief that Jesus is the Savior of all mankind.

I think that I do a great job at Christmas time, and I am working on Easter... I need to do a better day-to-day job of showing my children what I believe and that I believe that God's hand is always over me for good.

525,600 minutes...

The email I got today from Pastor Rich asked this question:

For today’s thought, take one minute right now and jot down things you’d want to do if you only had 21 days left to live.  Really.  Stop what you’re doing and for the next 60 seconds, write down as many things that you can think of.

I've been thinking of only that for the past several days. I've been thinking about how quickly days turn into months turn into years, and suddenly my oldest has been baptized and my youngest has been weaned, and where did the time go? Did I spend it wisely?

I think often of Randy Pausch and his "Last Lecture" and how he spent his last year, and what am I doing with my todays that will make them memorable tomorrow? I love the story of the 1,000 marbles, and all those Saturdays that seem so endless (like Summer Vacation); but each day of every day is numbered. All of us are going.

What would I do if I knew the actual number of days? The though runs through my mind that I am not doing enough. I always feel like it has not been enough. If there were no tomorrows, I know what I would NOT do. Let's start there.

1. I wouldn't grade another paper. Ever.

2. I wouldn't hike to the top of Mt. Timpanogos, just to say I could.

3. I wouldn't worry about how messy my house was.

4. I wouldn't travel to some exotic place.

5. I wouldn't stop working.

I have thought hours about what I would do. In no particular order:

I'd read or have some special time with my children at night.

I'd sing to my children, so they would remember the sound of my voice.

I'd take each one on a date, somewhere, so they could have time alone with me.

I'd go on a date with John, a fun one, someplace unique and wonderful, like a tiny light shop, or a museum of fine art.

I'd teach some of my best, most finely tuned lessons at school, one last time.

I'd send an email or card to all my friends to remind them of how much I love them.

I'd phone my grandparents.

I'd re-read one of my favorite books.

I'd blog.

It turns out that the life I'm living is pretty close to what I'd do, even if I knew how many days I have left. I have a great life. My children are marvels, each one. My husband is fantastic. I associate with teenagers who will grow to be thriving adults in my community, and what I do with them and for them makes a difference in this world.

525,600 is the number of minutes in a year. If we are to "Carpe Diem" and seize the day, we must, therefore seize each of these moments, seconds, and make them count. I choose to make my mark on people, rather than objects, for people are the only thing that matters. Only our associations last into the hereafter, and if all I have left is today, I want you to know: You matter to me.

Prince Maxwill Turns One

As Max is the king of the castle around our house, we went with the prince theme. His dad made an impressive castle-looking cake (with 3 flavors!) and we had guests and ate cake.

Max liked the chocolate bars on his cake, and he ate one whole slice of chocolate and then cake... and was of course, ill. He threw up, and then was as happy as a clam. I can't WAIT for Halloween. I think I'll see

 a three-peat of that sort 

of activity.

"Life is Measured in the Moments that Take Your Breath Away"

I was talking Stacy! and told her that the Bretheren (and Sisteren) were going to give me good advice. What did I get from the Bretheren?

Brother Perry: Sometimes bad things happen to good people: we need to endure these things with hope and being positive. "The best is yet to be..." I needed that right now. Find hope and peace because no matter what happens, the best is yet to come. AND, he talked about Henry David Thoreau!!

Sister Allred (RS): I thought of my teaching and how I have the opportunity to share myself with my students. I love that opportunity of being with the young people in my city. It also reminded me of how working with the cub scouts gives me the chance to help young boys grow into good men. I am doing what I can in my small part of the world to do good things.

Brother Anderson: Told the story of the deaf girl; my son Jack immediately identified with her in that he said, "I'm special, and when Jesus comes again, I will be perfect." That's a beautiful gift.

From Brother Uchtdorf, I learned that I must have HOPE and FAITH and charity towards myself and to others. I need to hold hope for it is a gift of God.

I know that there were other messages for other people this morning, but this is what the leaders said *to ME.*

Let us enjoy life while we live it: Carpe Diem! Seize TODAY.

Ecclesiastes 8:8

None of us can hold back our spirit from departing. None of us has the power to prevent the day of our death. There is no escaping that obligation, that dark battle. And in the face of death, wickedness will certainly not rescue the wicked.

Today's scripture reminds me of Dylan Thomas' poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night."

Do not go gentle into that good night, 

Old age should burn and rave at close of day; 

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right, 

Because their words had forked no lightning they 

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright 

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, 

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, 

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, 

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight 

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, 

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height, 

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. 

Do not go gentle into that good night. 

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Life is Terminal

My friend Tracy works for the Evangelical Free Church. This month, they are focusing on how to make each day matter. "What would you do if you knew you had only 30 days to live?" I decided to take the challenge and blog my thoughts about the prompts Pastor Rich is sending out.

Day 3, Psalm 39:6-8 (NIV)

 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: 

       He bustles about, but only in vain; 

       he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? 

       My hope is in you.

 Save me from all my transgressions; 

       do not make me the scorn of fools.

How does a “terminal” perspective alter your priorities?  I have felt that because life is short, my priorities need to be about making "heart" connections (ironic because I am worried about my heart), but more importantly, I have felt like I need to go home and be Princess Diana, making those moments that matter have real splash in the lives of my children. Jack made the comment on Sunday that "We had a really BIG day!" because we'd been to a mission farewell, our own primary, and then to my nephew's baby blessing. All of those events were dedicated to serving, being, and feeling the influence of Heavenly Father in our lives. My favorite place to be is "the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing." I live for those moments. They don't happen every day, but when they do, they are special and they are filled with promise and hope. They are moments of true power: you wouldn't be in any other place doing any other thing.

What areas that you put energy into should you let go of in order to really make the Lord your hope? Since I became so sick about 4 weeks ago, I have decided that I would only clean and do the bare minimum around the house to make it livable. I would spend my real energy snuggling my children, reading them books, talking to them, doing their homework, and being with them when they ate after school to hear their stories. Sometimes this leaves me so exhausted that I go right to sleep when John gets home, but I know I've given my kids attention that I might not have given them if I had just rested for a bit after school. Everything I do, I do for a child somewhere. What I do for school is for my school children. What I do at home is for my biological children. I have infinite hope in the future and that children are all gifts from God. What we do with them, for them, and through them all remind us that "a baby is God's belief that life should go on." No matter what, I want my children to know I love them and that when I rise in the morning, it is for them. When I lay down at night, it is for them. Everything the Lord gave me, gives me, and will give me is for the raising up His kingdom, and I think that His kingdom rests in the hope and hands of the future.

How does knowing life is short, finite change your attitude toward God?  I have known that my life would be short ever since I had Xandri and my diabetes never went away. As I have progressively got worse, I have found that my life's focus has changed. I try to enjoy something about every day. Sometimes, I think "If this were my last day on earth, did I tell enough people that I loved them? Do they know?" I have also thought a great deal about "If I'd known this would be the way things would turn out, would I have had this many children?" But it's a moot point: Here they are. I made the choice. I picked up one end of the stick knowing that this could be on the other end. I have decided that every day after the day Max was born has been bonus. It's a miracle. We're here. We're doing. We're all together. 

How are you more aware of Him and His presence in the everyday-ness of life? I am more aware of the small graces in my life. I realize the tiny miracles, the small answers to prayer, the promptings of the holy spirit, the whispers of goodness, the blessings of others, and that He is inside US if we let Him work through us. It is part of doing and being and standing in the right place at the right time and knowing, knowing that God is there. God is good; God is goodness. When we are good and do good, God is there. That's a powerful thing. All that we are, all that we do, all that we can be and can do belongs to Him and the days He has given us: and ALL of our days are numbered. God knows them because He knows me personally. He has already seen me for who I am, and He knows the desires and wishes of my heart. He knows how much I love my kids; He knows how much I want to be a good parent and have strong marriage to teach my children the importance of being families and sharing love. He knows and every second of every day it is His wish for me to share in His "unspeakable joy." It's up to me to find that joy in every day, to go looking for it, and to make it when it's not there. I know He is always there; I also know I'm not always looking to find Him.

Life is short: no one gets out alive. The blessing is that life is short, and then we get to go HOME, home to the place where our Father in Heaven waits for us with his arms wide-spread and His everlasting peace and joy abound.

A New Week...

It's been a whole week since I updated. I had to stop and think about what I've done and what's new.

John sent the plans to the engineer yesterday. We decided, based on the footings around our garage, that we needed to build John's office above the garage (there is space available) instead of under the back porch. There will still BE back porch, however. That's exciting because we'll be able to dine and have BBQ's there in the fall. It opens directly off of the kitchen (and another off of my bedroom).

I've become the Cub Scout Advancement Committee Chair and I help at cub den meetings. I am still the Primary chorister, but I may only do that for a little while longer. Currently I have 3 callings, and that's more than typical in our ward.

Jackson loves his teacher, Mrs. Baudin, and his Parent/Teacher conference is tomorrow. Xandri's will also be this week, and we'll see what their teachers have to tell us. Xandri is loving kindergarten. She and her friend Holly go to school at the same time and they talk about what happens at preschool and how alike their kindergarten classes are. It's delightful to listen to their conversations about the rugs, the games, their homework. They are students, real scholars, involved in the process of learning.

Asa loves playing with Jack. Because Jack loves Lego, so does Asa. Because Jack plays on the stairs, so does Asa. Asa always wants to play with things Jack loves or things Jack has made because he wants to be like Jack.

Ace also had his pictures taken today. He didn't want to smile for the camera. He was really intimidated by the high school students at the photographer. Oh, well. He can be very shy. I picked the photo that shows his amazing eyes the best. He's got "old" eyes---they are so large, so brown, and they are deep... like they are an old man's eyes. He's got a sweet, sweet spirit, even though he's entered the naughty stage. He's figured out that if he pitches a fit, he will get his way. He's figured out that he can tease and lie and blame it on someone else... SIGH.

Max, now that child has been a tease for months. He loves to do exactly what he is told NOT to do. He knows what no means, and he does it simply because he's been told no. He also climbs things, and he wants to see out of windows. He's fascinated by what's out the window. Of course, once he gets up to a window, he can't get back down, and this makes him scream!

Well, I think that's everying, and I don't think I have any new pictures. I guess I'm not good at that!

A Quick Update

I seem to only grab time in fleeting moments. I wanted to catch you up about us.

1. John has almost finished our house plans!! That means the next step is that the plans go to the engineer, and once they've been engineered they go to the city to get a permit, to sub-contractors to get bids, and to find a loan. That'll be fun in the current financial situation of America! John is still working for Harvest Park, so that's great. He still has work, and the kids have school, so all is well with us in the housing market.

2. I am working on midterm grades; I have hundreds of papers to grade, and here I am  blogging.

3. Jackson has lost hearing in his left ear. We don't know how or when, but he can't hear in his left ear. We are taking him to a specialist on October 15th, so we'll know more then. Since Jack has learned about his ear, he has shouted at his siblings less. I think he realizes that not everyone is talking about him. He listens closer, and he plays quietly more often now. I have noticed that he still talks to himself quite loudly, and I can hear his games and pretending with his Lego. It's very sweet; he's very sweet. He has not complained even once about not being able to hear well. I do know that knowing about his deafness helps him understand things at school, at church, and at home differently. He's more introspective: He thinks about things and why they are. He's always done that, but in the last few days he's thought more and more about things before he speaks.

4. Alyxandria is so delighted to be in kindergarten. She's such a gorgeous diva. She has become amazing about all sorts of things---hair, toys, drawing, school. She's a genius with lyrics (and why wouldn't she be?!) and she's delightful about what stories she tells us about her schoolmates. My favorite time of the day is transferring her from preschool to kindergarten. She, Holly and Kyler tell darling stories about their fellow preschoolers and giggle about what will happen at school that afternoon. She adores having her hair special---braids, pony tails, and colored hairspray (they sell it in PINK, and GLITTER at Halloween time).  She loves playing "designer" and matching her shoes, clothes, and socks. She also helps Asa and Max be stylish.

5. Asa is the real man. Going to preschool has improved all things cute about Asa. He speaks so much more clearly, and he loves, loves, loves playing with other kids. He understands "friends" and he loves reading books. His favorite food is a hot dog in any form, and he'll dip any sort of hot, corn, or pancake dog into liquid like ketchup, mustard, or maple syrup. He's a hoot at the end of the day. He's still so tired when he gets home from school, and he'd love to nap: then he has a hard time staying in his bed at night. He's put himself to bed, but he'll sneak out of bed just to see what we're doing. I remember doing that, and Xandri sure did her share of sneaking.

6. Max is simply hilarious. He understands no and does exactly the opposite because he knows he shouldn't. He loves climbing things---and has fallen off of what I would consider quite high places. He'll climb somewhere and then scream and scream to be rescued. He's a flirt and he eats like a small pony. His grin is incredibly infectious, and he bites like a vampire (but he's no Edward Cullen!) He has 2 ridiculously silly huge upper 2 front teeth and only 3 teeth instead of 4 on the bottom. We love him madly.

That's our current stituation! Hope you and yours are doing well!

Beautiful, Beautiful Boy

Jackson has become a Cub Scout! He can hardly stand it; it's the most exciting thing to happen to him ever, I think. He was more excited about being 8 so that he could be a cub scouter than he was to be baptized. In fact, he had earned his Heart of Scouting and his Bobcat awards before he was even baptized!

I get to go to cubs with him every Wednesday. I elected myself as the Advancement Chair on the Cub Scout Committee. I figured if I was the advancement chair for the regular scouts, I should be for the scout that belongs to me. We've had fun this month celebrating cub scout "Buddies" and we're going to have our Court of Honor---I think it's called a Pack Meeting---next Sunday. I have to make the invitations, so I'd best check on the name.

Anyway, there's not much cuter than to see Jackson all decked out in his uniform, hat and all. The best part is how PROUD it makes him to wear it every week. I do, truly, love that part.

Remembering the Towers

Strangers

 

I didn't know the man in black pants

who plunged headfirst

from the top of the north tower

 

or the young mother trapped

behind a locked door

on the eighty-seventh floor.

 

I never met the couple

crushed in their final embrace

and stuffed into one body bag.

 

or the fire chief quickly buried

under tons of concrete,

steel, glass, and ash.

 

Nor did I ever say hello

to the blond woman

who called her husband to ask

 

what she should tell the pilot

standing beside her

at the back of the plane.

 

I never shared coffee

with the six-foot-four executive

who said, "If we're going

 

to crash into something,

let's not let it happen.

Our best chance is to fight."

 

Yet I have felt sun on their skin

and tasted wine on their lips.

I have run using the long muscles

 

of their legs and felt air

rush into their lungs, their hearts

pumping in my chest,

 

and they have combed my hair

each morning, tasted

cereal from my bowl,

 

and held my children in their arms.

At night they have watched

stars shimmer through my eyes.

 

Now they have all returned

to earth and air, but I still feel them

stirring inside me, walking

 

the long corridors of my brain,

searching for something

irretrievable, precious, still there.

 

--Lucille Lang Day

First Day of School

The kids started school on August 18th. Asa and Xandri tromped back to preschool the first week... here they are getting in the car that first day.

Initially, Xandri's scheme was to wear her

 amazingly long hair in a braid and have people ooooh and aaaahhh over it, and then CHOP IT OFF so they could be so sad. However, once she got to the actual "chop it off" stage, she just couldn't part with it. She loves braids, pony tails, and accessories. One of her favorite thing is to have loads of curls. For her first day of kindergarten with Miss Watanabe, she had me "super curl" her hair.

Asa loves going to the THS Wee Wolf Day Care. It took him a few weeks to figure out how the schedule worked, but he was  a little trooper. Some days the activities completely wear him out and he has to come home for a nap, but he sures enjoys being a wee wolf here. He loves Miss Amy, Miss Rachel, Miss Tregani and Miss Emily. 

He's done well with potty training, and 

had only ONE accident, which is amazing. His shirt here in this photograph reads "My parents are exhausted," and that's insanely true for me.

Jack is in 3rd grade at Bonneville Elementary school and has Mrs. Baudin. He loves her class, but when he clashed with Abby, he was convinced he needed to switch schools. Jack's favorite preparation for school was the "back to school" shopping he did with grandma while mama  and dad were at Wood Badge. He got snazzy new clothes, "fast" shoes, and all black to wear for the first day. He thought he was SO stylish. He loves being stylish.

Max Attack

It's been almost 6 weeks since I last wrote! Max has grown and changed so much in 6 weeks. His favorite thing to do is to crawl around on the floor, sticking his tongue out, and pushing a car while he makes a "thhhh" sound. He's a determined little guy, and he's clever as he is resourceful. He loves to eat paper, tear pages out of books, and crumple pieces of Mama's assignments. In truly Phippen male fashion, he adores anything with buttons, like remote controls and Mama's cell phone. He delights in pressing the talk button on the home phone.

Max understands "No" and delights in doing exactly the opposite. He's just learning cause & effect, and he has started to push things off tables just to watch them fall. His new "cute-isms" include clapping, humming, giving big, real hugs, blowing kisses, waving hello, and climbing anything. He wants to go down items, but he wants to go down the stairs and off of furniture face-first. He pays no attention as he crawls and bangs his head on all sorts of obstacles. His most constant accessory is a bruise on his forehead.

Max understands lots of words, but only says "Mama," "Dad," "Hi," "This," "Nuh," and "baba." He makes noises all the time, so he's easy to track, and he's almost always demanding someone's attention. He's crazy about Asa, but he enjoys all his siblings. He hates being held down by Xandri, and he often wants Jack to take him down the stairs. He'll stand at the gate at the top of our stairs and coax Jack to come and get him.

Max loves swinging in the baby swing in our back yard. He leans over the edge and watches our old dog. The dog seems endlessly fascinating, and she often comes to sniff his feet which makes hin giggle. Max will sit on a "ride-on" toy in the basement and push the buttons, but he won't hang-out in a laundry basket or box. He enjoys being in his high chair only as long as there is continuous company and lots of finger food.

Max's favorite activity is bathing. He adores chasing the bubbles around the tub, and he wants to suck on the washcloth (eeewwww). He sits and splashes and can entertain himself for quite some time. He especially enjoys screaming bloody murder in the bathroom because it echos so nicely. He and Asa often have skull-piercing screaming contests in there.

All in all, Max is growing up too quickly. This last baby-hood has flown past. I haven't had nearly enough time to spend with just Max. Taking him to scout camp with us was nice because he was the only child, but I still feel like I didn't get to spend enough time with him. I don't think I'll ever feel like I spent enough time with him because he is constantly surrounded by the others and I am so amazingly overscheduled. He's easy to love and as he gets older and older he gets to be more fun, but I still miss how wonderful the baby-days have been.

It all happened.
On a Sunday afternoon.
Of being bored .
So I just had to go to the front-yard.
And I had to make some-thing.
I all I had was sticks.
And I made this.


My e-mail is:
jackson.phippen@gmail.com

My Boys... Elastomen?

We have boys at our house. I guess that means we have cuts, colds, stitches, and bumps. It seems like we've had more than our share this month.

First, John cut himself while in the great-out-doors performing his patented pyro-show at a scouting event. Then, he got staph, and then Max & I both got staph. It turns out, if we weren't using the right medicine, so we got to be on medication for a month or more.

Jackson has not been ill, but he's had amazing changes. The biggest change was to be come an actual, uniform-wearing, complete-with-hat Cub Scout. Within the first week he was in scouting, he had earned his Bobcat and the Heart of Scouting. He is so excited to be going to scout day camp on Friday he could about BURST. His love of scouting makes his dad so proud, and his mom so baffled. Did I ever love anything this much when I was the same age? I assume John did.

Asa, however has managed to run into various things this month. He got in-between Xandri and Jack during a fight over a hammer, a for-real hammer, and got a bang from the back of the hammer. So, for a while we called him "Hammer Head" or "Shark Boy" (remember Lava Girl?)

This week, Asa jumped head-first into our brick hearth in our basement. He didn't get stitches, but he did get to wear steri-strips for a week. This is his picture from tonight (on r). I guess he's healed. Even on the night he did it, he didn't seem to mind much!

Of course, Max couldn't be left out. He's crawling, which means he's constantly banging himself on everything. He also falls down things, like stairs, which he learned all about while being at Grandma Viv's, the land of ups and down. When he goes up 2 or 3 stairs, he turns around and looks around. Suddenly, he's rolling to the bottom, and no one, even the person right next to him, is close enough to catch him.

He's had "road rash" from carpet burns (he doesn't put his hands out to catch himself--I thought that was instinctual) and he crawls, often, head down. UGH.

I think we've got them all healed. Now... Family pictures anyone?

My Grandmother's Chairs

All of my life, my parents have owned aone special chair that was petit-pointed by my grandmother. Grandma told me this summer that she chose to do the background of the chairs in maroon because she was doing them for her mother, and her mother had rose colored carpet in her dining room at the time. My grandmother's chairs have a carved wild rose at the top. The wild rose is the provincial flower of Alberta, so that always caught my eye. Grandma told me there were originally 6 of them, and then she had a rocker done in poppies in her bedroom.

These chairs were never around my grandmother's dining table. When I was young, she had a big dining table with high-caned-back chairs with white velvet seats and "shower cap" seat covers in a washable grey velveteen to protect them from us. No, the petit-pointed chairs weren't in the kitchen, either. They were scattered around the house, and we had one at our house. It was special; it was "untouchable."

Before I made the trip to Canada this summer, I saw "my grandmother's chairs!" somewhere. When I got to there, I couldn't remember where or when I saw "those" chairs. I knew they didn't have the petit-pointed seats. While I was describing how different the ones I'd seen were, Vivian was telling me about how she'd chosen the color, Barbara getting the rocker out of a junk box in an old garage.

When we got home last week, my neighbor invited me to her home to help her with a computer issue. She offered me at a seat at her computer, and there were the chairs!! I gasped and said I couldn't possible SIT on one of them, and she laughed and said she was getting rid of them as soon as possible. I was flabberghasted! Getting rid of these chairs?

So on my birthday, my neighbor Brenda brought them over to me. She had 4 of them, and they are now sitting in MY living room, just waiting to be petit-pointed (for those of you who have no idea how to pronounce it, it's "pet-ee-point").

They have a different top design. It's got a raised flower detail, not a carved wild rose. They haven't been refinished... so they have their original finish on them. We haven't decided if that's a positive or not. Certainly, we don't want them to look brand new.

I've chosen a couple of patterns for the seat... and I've done a whole lot of research. I have 4 chairs. I have 4 kids. Someday, their children will have their grandmother's chairs.

My Birthday in Review

So, my birthday was great. I got many wonderful gifts from my children: none of which they picked out, paid for, or wrapped. They were just as happy to give them to me as if they HAD done any of the above.

I collect Willow Tree figurines. Actually, John and I give them to each other. For ME, their facelessness reminds me that I am one of many women doing, feeling, and being the mother of the future. I am united, with every other woman, doing what I can to create a world that's great for the people I love most.

My husband really "gets" me. I know it's because I talk his EAR off about my hopes, goals, dreams, phone calls, experiences, students, etc. I talk A LOT. I know he would tell you the same (although he's a man of few words. You should note, he's never written or commented on "our" blog ever.)

We recently finished reading a book called Queste by Angie Sage. When I saw that it was the title for this piece, I immediately thought it was because of the book. I'm not quite sure what it says to JOHN, but immediately upon seeing it, it reminded me of 2 things. Firstly, "we" did his first degree in business together. I worked myself stupid to keep him in school, and he got marvelous marks and still worked full time. The second thing it reminded me is that we read the same books and have wonderful, inspiring, "book group" discussions about how clever books are. He's the best reading group I've ever had, and he reads to my son every night. He inspires in my children the love of reading. My children know I *teach* reading, that I buy all the books, but my husband brings them to life. His role in my life and the lives of my children is so very beautiful. He takes it so seriously, and he does such a fine job as a husband and father. Anyone could look at our life and see that we are his first priority.

He also bought me a figurine called "Guardian"---and I know I see myself in this way. I think it's lovely that HE knows I consider myself the guardian of children everywhere. I'm not Angelina Jolie. I'll never be an ambassador to the UN, or join UNICEF, or do anything spectacular, but I do view my roll as a protector of the innocent as a real, important "calling" like the Sons of Mosiah (My favorite chapter of all scripture is Mosiah 17. These are verses 13 & 14: 13 And it came to pass when they had arrived in the borders of the land of the Lamanites, that they aseparated themselves and departed one from another, trusting in the Lord that they should meet again at the close of their harvest; for they supposed that great was the work which they had undertaken. 14 And assuredly it was great,

I see myself doing great work simply by touching the lives of my students, friends, and children. I know that what I do is important.

I also see myself as the most important advocate my own children have with the world. The gorgeousness of this figurine for me is that I love my children so very much. They are what I wanted most in life, and I would have given anything, anything to have them.

The third gift he gave me was a figurine called "Child's Touch." Asa said, "That's ME and Mama!" When he saw it. Xandri said, "That's Mama and Max." Jack said, "It's mama and me" and of course, it is all of those. How beautiful that my children still love to be hugged, kissed, have snuggles, and have moments with their mama. There will come a time when Jack doesn't look forward to being able to take my English class. There will come a time when it will make Xandri crazy I know where she is and what she's doing. There will come a time when I'll be angry at Asa for disassembling some important appliance. There will come a time, soon, all too soon, when I won't rock my Max to sleep anymore. He's my last baby, but he's not the last time I will touch the life of a child, nor will it be the last time I have a child touch my life.

My John, my smart, funny, talented, gourmond, architect, scouter, dreaming husband "gets" me; and you know why? It's because we're about the same things. He has the same dreams and goals about building better boys through the scouting program, and I have the same delusions of grandure about teaching. We keep the figurines around to remind us of why we're here, and why we do, every day, what we do.

Life is truly beautiful when you know you're in the right place doing the right thing. Life isn't always about the easy, or the beautiful, "but it's a beautiful ride."

A List from Starr-Brite

My sister-in-law has a lovely list of hopes, dreams, etc. I haven't seen it elsewhere, so I'm creating mine here:

I think: That every moment matters
I know: That my Redeemer lives, and what comfort that gives me daily
I want: My children to have their dreams come true
I have: Too many things to do to squeeze into any 24 hour period
I wish: I could do everything I wanted to the level I know I am possible
I hate: Doing dishes, cleaning the house, and sorting things for good-will.
I miss: My grandparents on a daily basis
I fear: That my mother will never, ever care about life the way she did before my brother died.
I feel: Like every day is important and that I should be anxiously engaged in good causes
I hear: The air rustle from every ceiling fan in my eco-friendly house.
I smell: That certain "home" smell---the one that identifies ONLY my house.
I crave: More positive parent time with my children, where I *want* to be with them, DOING childish things.
I search: For news, knowledge, and ways to connect my children to their past
I wonder: If I will see my daughter's wedding, hold my grandchildren, or if I will die young and miss those magical moments.
I regret: Not going to Europe before we had children.
I love: Writing, reading, knowing, and teaching
I care: About my friends, family, and students.
I always: Pray, over the little things, the big things, and the things that scare me.
I am not: Going to give up.
I believe: Children are the future; teach them well FOR they will lead the way
I dance: To be funny when teaching a lesson. I do a terrible Moon Walk.
I sing: Made up words to common songs that make my children laugh
I don't always: Do my best. Sometimes my goals are too high. Sometimes, I try to do too much. Sometimes, I just can't do what I thought I could.
I fight: For the rights of children in Utah to have good, quality teachers, and to provide the best education possible for their future.
I write: Down my hopes and my dreams, just in case I'm not here to share them with my posterity. I want them to know, I was a dreamer, a do-er, and that my life revolved around teaching, loving, and being all that I could be.
I lose: Track of when my bills are due.
I win: When my children learn new things, understand in profound ways the lessons of universal truth, and come to create opinions of their own and can express them.
I never: Want to harm a child in any way.
I listen: Intently to what people around me say
I can usually be found: At a computer, a desk, or reading a book
I am scared: That I will lose a child, and that it will undo all of my hopes, dreams, and plans
I need: To spend more time being Princess Diana, and less time being "Mommy Dearest."
I am happy about: School starting in 5 weeks.
I tag: Friends---once you get a message from me, I expect to be tagged back!

Happy Birthday to Me...

I've been "online" for 14 years. Before that, I was part of the digital fax age (that's how John & I dated). Before that, I wrote copiously long letters. However, I've never had a digital BIRTHDAY before. Now that I have a Facebook profile, I got digital Happy Birthdays. My online groups at Yahoo reached out and Happy Birthday'd me. I heard from people I haven't seen in years. I had lunch with an old friend, whom I've known since I started teaching, and then got good fortune from a friend whom I have known since middle school. I have friends running out my ears.

Which is the point of my posting. My friends don't come first, but once you are my friend, it's forever. My friends become my family, and I can't think of any friends who are truly friends I haven't corresponded with at least this year. In fact, last year, I decided that all my real friends didn't need Christmas cards because they heard and saw and read about me and mine so often.

Luckily, not only do I have many friends, they are good friends. My next door neighbor (for the past 14 years) brought me bubble bath & lotion. She & I have the same small tub, but she knows I LOVE bubble baths. My sister bought me a vinyled tile about how important teaching is. My German Stacy! bought me an Oprah magazine subscription, a business book about how being right brained makes me rule the world. My sister in law took me to dinner. AND, all of them know it's *exactly* the right gift. Man, I love that.

My husband is making pancakes for dinner. They will be made-from-scratch and be fluffy. I will wear my TorsoPants (t-shirt) that says Pancakes. Then, there will be gifts (which I don't need, but are expected by the children), and then, my kids will ask for the 27th time, "What are we doing for your birthday" and universally agree that birthdays are confusing when you are a grown-up. Xandri has asked if all you get to do on your birthday is eat the food you like. She wants to know where the cake is, and asked why moms don't get Costco cake and invite all their friends over. Asa informed me that he is having a Diego and Cars with 'Mater birthday (take note---as it is next month).

And that's all there is to say about birthdays when you get to be 36. Tomorrow I will just have to be 36, but on my birthday, I GET to be 36. On your birthday, you always have to see that there's still something left in the glass---whether you're got half a glass or even less. It's all about the moments, and you never know when it's your last.